Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
