Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Randomize
