apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
