already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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