Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He passed out mid-signature
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
