How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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