what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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