Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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