how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
