Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
