If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
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You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
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It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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