hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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