I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
this will be a night to untag.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
