under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
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Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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