I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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