I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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