I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
