I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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