I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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