Whod you bang
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
