is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
