I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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