Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
