Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
