batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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