i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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