You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
