if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
