Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
