from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
