Don't make out with my wife yet
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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