In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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