The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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