is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
