There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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