Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
