just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
