i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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