Well douche your snatch and let's go!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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