Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
