I love black thongs
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
