Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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