By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize