Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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