Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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