Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
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You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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