he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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