I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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