Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
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Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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