i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
