PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
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Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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