i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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