I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
