That's when you crack a 10am beer
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
