woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
