Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
