sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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