Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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