im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
