if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think my fart just growled at me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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